


Five Stages of Falling In Love

by aliceshermione



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Endgame, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:15:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26484022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliceshermione/pseuds/aliceshermione
Summary: When Jane Rizzoli starts dating again, Maura begins to realize that her feelings for her best friend run far deeper than just friendship. Will she tell Jane how she feels before it's too late?
Relationships: Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli
Comments: 19
Kudos: 116





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been years since I've written Rizzoli and Isles fanfiction, so I'd appreciate the kindness and any feedback you have to give! This idea popped into my head a few weeks ago and I'm thrilled to be sharing it with you guys.

In the course of Maura’s lifetime, she’d never had trouble explaining things, especially when it came to science. Science could explain most things. But it couldn’t help how she felt every time she was around Jane Rizzoli.  
  
  
Or today, when Jane had a date with a colleague. He was cute, had a nice smile and very muscular. He was even funny, too, which made the whole thing that much more annoying. This wasn’t like her. She should’ve been happy for Jane, happy that she was putting herself out there. Still, as she helped her best friend pick out her outfit for their dinner together, all she could think about was how she hoped there would be something about him that she didn’t like.  
  
  
“Maura? Maura!”  
  
  
“ Huh? What? Sorry.”  
  
  
Jane huffed, holding up the dark blue blouse and light-washed jeans, glancing over at the heels on the floor. Heels. Who had she become?  
  
  
“I was asking if this looked okay. It’s kinda see-through, though. I don’t know if I want him, like, staring at my boobs the whole time. What do you think?”  
  
  
Swallowing, her eyes went to Jane’s chest, but quickly decided to avert her gaze to the blouse and then the jeans. She nodded slowly, nearly forgetting to answer. Until…  
  
  
“Don’t you want him to be sexually attracted to you? Isn’t that why we, as women, spend so much time getting dolled up, hoping to impress our potential mates?” Maura’s words caused Jane’s eyes to roll. “Maura, can you please not call him my  **mate** ? I mean, sure. I want him to be attracted to me, I just.. I don’t know, okay? I’m too nervous for this.”  
  
  
Maura could tell that the brunette was getting frustrated and she frowned, turning her torso as she sat on the bed.  
  
  
“Jane, you don’t have any reason to be nervous. I know it’s scary, getting back out there, but you’re an incredible person. You’re funny, beautiful, successful-”  
  
  
“Yeah, and men just  **love** that.”  
  
  
At that, Maura smiled a little, in that reassuring way she always did when it came to the detective. A hand was placed on Jane’s arm, her thumb rubbing in a comforting way and no, she absolutely wasn’t thinking about how soft Jane’s skin was.  
  
  
“Just keep an open mind, Jane. Give it a chance. Don’t psyche yourself out before you even get there.” At Maura’s advice, Jane sighed heavily and nodded. “I guess you’re right. I just haven’t really dated since Casey and... “ Maura strongly disliked Casey. Not only had he played with Jane’s mind, but he’d left her high and dry with a baby on the way. She had zero respect for him and she knew he didn’t really like her, either. Honestly? She preferred it that way.  
  
  
“I know.”  
  
  
A moment of silence passed over them as Maura rubbed Jane’s arm, just focusing on the softness and anything she could possibly say to make her feel better before her date. Despite her own feelings, she wanted Jane to have a good time. And if it was going to go south, then she hoped it would be on Jane’s terms. Finally, her eyes fell on the blouse that was still in Jane’s hands and ( after a moment of looking at those, too ) she smirked.  
  
  
“You know, that blouse actually looks familiar.”  
  
  
Jane snapped out of the little trance smiled fondly at the shirt, that common Jane Rizzoli side-smirk that made her eyes soften and her dimples show.  
  
  
“Yeah. It’s, uh… The blouse I was wearing on my first day at BPD. I also wore it the first time me and you really hung out.”  
  
  
Maura’s heart started racing.  
  
  
“It’s kind of my lucky shirt, I guess.”  
  
  
Her lucky shirt. And she was wearing it on a date. There was a lot to unpack there. But not now. Some other time, maybe. The strawberry-blonde swallowed before she looked back up at Jane, her expression softening. God, if only she could tell her…  
  
  
“Then I’m sure tonight will be fine.”  
  
  
Coward. Maura inwardly kicked herself. It was just that seeing Jane so nervous and excited in her own way made her question if she could ever bring her that sort of feeling. And god, what about ruining the friendship? She couldn’t handle not having Jane in her life, especially if she knew she was the reason she no longer was. She would never be that selfish. It just wasn’t in her nature.  
  
  
When Maura spoke, Jane nodded and exhaled a breath, moving about the room to get ready for her date. Eventually, she’d gotten ready and had come out of the bedroom looking like something right off the runway and Maura had to quell those wandering thoughts of ‘ I wish that was me you were going to dinner with ‘ and ‘ I wonder what you’d say if I told you I loved you ‘. It wasn’t easy, but she managed. For Jane’s sake.  
  
  
“What do you think?” Jane had asked and the medical examiner looked at her like she put the stars in the sky. And yes, that was scientifically impossible, but right now? She didn’t quite care. “You look beautiful. He’d be an idiot not to find you attractive.” Jane paused a little, then smiled, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. If Maura approved, then everything was fine. She actually felt a lot less nervous now, given the fact she hadn’t been on a proper date with anyone in two years.  
  
  
“Well, wish me luck. Or break a leg. Whatever it is they say.”  
  
  
Jane chuckled, that deep, throaty, husky chuckle that made Maura’s knees weak and when Jane leaned down to kiss her cheek, she could feel her resolve crumbling.  
  
  
_ You make it so hard not to love you _ , she thought to herself.  
  
  
“It’ll be fine. Call me if you need anything.”  
  
  
“I will. If I need you to get me out of there, I definitely will.”  
  
  
And silently, she hoped that she would. And that was entirely selfish and made her hate herself a little.    
  
“Bye, Jane.”    
“Bye, Maur. I’ll call you later and let you know how it went.”  
  
  
And then, Jane was out the door. A sinking feeling sat in the pit of her gut, thinking about everything they’d laugh about tonight and if this man would laugh at her jokes. She wondered if he’d try to kiss one of her dimples…    
  
No. She needed to distract herself. Wasn’t that the best remedy for heartbreak, after all?    
  
Maura’s night began with her attempting to cook herself dinner. Still, as she fussed over the chicken and vegetable stirfry, all she could think about was Jane. So, she turned the radio on. The usual station that played love songs just wouldn’t do tonight, so she found another one playing classic rock. And for about ten minutes, she didn’t think about Jane. She thought about the garlic bread she could make with the pasta, then she thought about how pasta was most commonly an Italian dish and then. . .    
  
God, she really couldn’t get Jane out of her head, could she? What if she was staring at him, falling in love with him while she cooked? Half of her wanted to leave everything and just drive to the spot where they’d be eating. Hell, Jane had given it to her. After Maura’s failed romance with “the zombie” who tried to turn her into a human statue, the pair always did that. Not that it was really common for either of them to go out on dates anymore.    
  
Maura preferred it that way.    
  
Angela, however, was over the moon. She was already talking about how the two of them could have little Rizzolis who would be spoiled rotten. Maura loved Angela like a mother and the woman loved her the same. Would it really be so bad if it was her who ended up with Jane? If it was  _ their  _ children she spoiled?   
  
For someone who couldn’t even admit her feelings, she was really jumping the gun. 

As the night progressed, Maura finished her dinner, decided to take a bubble bath and completely zone out and then finished almost an entire bottle of wine. She hadn't thought about Jane in thirty minutes and she had almost forgotten about how nauseous she felt when… 

A text from Jane, letting her know that her date chewed with his mouth open sometimes. Maura smirked, deciding to answer with, 

_ Does he? Did he at least pull your chair out for you? _

No response. 

Well, it couldn't be that bad, then, could it? Maybe Jane was just being polite. She probably wanted to make him feel like he was being paid attention to. Jane was an amazing listener. Maura's mind began drifting again, wondering if maybe now he had his hand on her waist, leading her to the bar. She wondered if she'd like how he smelled or if there'd be any skin deficiencies he had that she'd dislike. 

The more and more she thought, the more and more she realized just how much she cared about Jane. She couldn't possibly entertain these negative thoughts. She loved her, regardless of what that meant. And no, she wouldn't wish Jane's loneliness. 

Even if she wouldn’t be the one pulling her chair out for her. 

  
Eventually, Maura got out of the bathtub and dried herself, taking a moment to look at herself in the mirror. She was beautiful. She could have anyone she wanted. Her hand ran over her arm and she noted the light freckles there. Now, her fingers rested over a breast. They were perky, perfect by society’s standards. Still, the thought of someone looking at her naked was a it nerve-wracking. Well, someone other than Jane, that was. The thought of her best friend seeing her in such a way caused her skin to heat up slightly.    
  
Maura allowed herself to think about that for a moment before she shook her head, a deep sigh escaping her lips as one hand lifted to wipe away the fog on the mirror from the steam of the bathtub. She washed her face and put on some of her anti-aging eye cream, then shut off the light off and exited the bathroom, body wrapped in a robe.    
  
Jane was back on her mind.    
  
It was crazy to her how that could happen. As long as she was distracted, she didn’t think about Jane or the date she was currently on. But, each time she did, her stomach immediately sank again. It felt like rocks in the pit of her gut. The worst part? Jane still hadn’t texted her.    
  
_ Never mind,  _ she thought.  _ I’ll just get into bed and read a bit.  _   
  
Easier said than done.   
  
No one knew this about Maura, but she loved to read romance novels. Many people probably would’ve assumed that she occupied her mind with medical journals to relax, but that wasn’t the case. Still, even the juicy novel she was currently reading about a woman being rescued by a haughty detective after being kidnapped… It just wasn’t doing the trick. She found herself skimming the words, mind drifting to Jane once more. They were probably done with dinner by now. Were they onto dessert? Had they ordered a second bottle of wine? Was he planning how he was going to get her back to his place? God, she  _ really _ didn’t want to think about that.    
  
And then, as if she’d telepathically read her mind, Jane texted.  
  
  
_ He did. Date went well. I’m on my way home now.  
_   
  
Relief flooded Maura’s mind. Of course, the medical examiner would never judge Jane for sleeping with someone on the first date, but she typically didn’t do that sort of thing. She was glad that still rang true. Quickly, the strawberry blonde put her book aside, typing back a quick response.  
  
  
_ I’m glad to hear it.  
_   
  
Simple. Straight to the point. Jane was probably tired, so she wouldn’t bore her with idle conversation just for the sake of doing so. Their friendship was beyond that, anyways.  
  
  
_ He wants to see me again. Not sure, though. We’ll see.  
_   
  
Maura raised a brow. Why wouldn’t she want to see him again?  
  
  
_ Did something happen?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ Maura’s lips scrunched up, watching the bubbles in the chat move up and down, waiting for Jane’s reply.  
  
  
_ Nothing happened. I’ll tell you all about it at work tomorrow.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ Now, there were rocks in Maura’s stomach again, but for a completely different reason. She knew Jane was being honest, but for some reason, she was still worried. Quickly, she responded.  
  
  
_ Okay. Goodnight, Jane.  
_   
  
_ Night, Maur.  
_   
  
Jane seemed off. Maybe Maura was overthinking it, but it worried her that she didn’t seem more excited about her date. Wouldn’t she have called her? All that was left to do now was wait until tomorrow when she saw Jane. After putting her phone on the nightstand to charge, she turned on her side and got comfortable, eventually drifting off to sleep. 


	2. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane finally reveals just what happened on her date and Maura comes to a new conclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update this! I really didn't have much inspiration for this chapter and I only just now figured out what Jane's reaction to her date would be. What do you think?! Let me know!!! I'd love to hear your feedback and possibly where YOU think the story should go next.

Light poured into Maura’s bedroom at six o’clock the next morning. Her alarm was set for six-thirty, but her body seemed to naturally rouse, especially given the sun that was harassing her. Usually, she didn’t mind getting up early. But today, she knew that she would have to see Jane and hear about how potentially well her date had gone. The medical examiner hadn’t even been awake for five minutes and already, her mind was plagued with thoughts of the brunette. 

Maybe some coffee would take her mind off things. 

Usually, Maura slept naked, as it promoted health and well-being. But last night, she’d slept in her favorite pair of silk, lavender pajamas. Slowly, she pulled on her slippers and headed into the kitchen where she was greeted by a smiling Angela. That woman never did fail to make her day. 

“Morning, Maura! You want a power smoothie? I found a recipe on this Pinterest thing that Jane showed me. It’s awesome for finding new recipes and all kinds of different things. I might even get back into sewing!” The woman chuckled and Maura gave a tired smile, leaning against the counter. 

“Thank you, but I think I’m going to stick with coffee. I didn’t sleep very well last night.”

“Oh no? What’s wrong? Does it have something to do with work? I know, I know, you can’t talk about it, I’m just being nosy.” 

Maura began making the coffee, filling the pot and then the coffee maker with her imported coffee beans. 

“You could say that.”

Technically, she wasn’t lying. Jane did work with her. She simply left out the fact that it was about Jane and more specifically, the date she’d had last night. 

“Well, I hear that. I didn’t get much sleep last night, either. Jane had a date.” 

“Oh?” 

“She didn’t tell you?” 

Maybe this act of trying to be nonchalant wasn’t her thing. 

“No, she did. Did she tell you how it went?” 

“I texted her a few times, but she just told me she’d tell me about it today. I wonder if that means it didn’t go well. Or, maybe it went so well that she wants to gush about it. I tell ya, Maura, I worry about Janey. She’s not married, no prospects… I just don’t want my little girl to end up like me.” 

At that, Maura turned around, eyeing the woman. 

“Trust me, I’m sure that won’t happen. Besides, your life isn’t anything to be ashamed of. You’re a beautiful, successful woman who is a testament to other women. You show you don’t need a man to complete you.” 

Angela smiled, her lips pouting out as she moved forward and gave Maura a big bear hug. 

“You really know how to make my day.” 

Maura grinned, squeezing back softly before she moved to prepare her coffee just the way she liked : Sugar and a little bit of cream. That would surely wake her up and then --- It was off to work to see what Jane had to say. 

At BPD, Jane was tapping her pen against her desk as she poured over reports. The latest one: A man who had murdered his wife and baby before running off with his mistress. Sometimes, Jane seriously wondered what the hell was wrong with the human race. Today was one of those days. How could anyone in their right minds do that? 

For a moment, the brunette wondered what made a criminal ; She knew it had something to do with psychology, something that Maura could explain if asked … But did anyone really know? Sure, psychologists could claim to, but --- 

Those thoughts were interrupted when she was reminded of her date the previous night and she started to recall why it was an entirely bad idea to see that man again. What kind of cop dated someone that she had arrested? Armed robbery. He had a good excuse, but excuses didn’t matter when you were trying to find a man to marry so that your mother would get off your back. Excuses didn’t matter when every time you saw your best friend walk into a room, your heart stopped. 

It had been that way for three years and Jane was coming up dry with excuses on why she couldn’t date the perfectly good men that Angela always seemed to line up for her ( against her telling her not to ). But this? Wasn’t this a good excuse? Armed robbery, not wanting to date a criminal…. Yeah, sounded about right. 

As if sharing the same brain cell, Maura walked in about three minutes later, her heels clicking on the floor as she walked. Jane knew the exact sound of Maura’s footsteps and no, it wasn’t just because of the shoes. Not only could she hear her, but she could always smell that expensive perfume that reminded Jane a little bit of her grandmother. 

Not in a bad way, of course. And she’d never tell Maura that.

Well, unless they were fighting. Then she might mention it. But their fights had been few and far between. 

“Good morning, Jane,” Maura greeted, her dimpled cheeks lighting up the very room she entered. In her hand, two cups of coffee. So, Maura had gotten a second cup and she highly doubted this was Jane’s first. Oh, well. At least their livers could shrivel up together. 

“Morning. Ugh, you’re a lifesaver.” Taking the cup with an appreciative groan, Jane immediately sipped it, wincing a little at the sting of heat. “Careful, it’s hot,” Maura said with a smile, inviting herself to sit down in front of Jane’s desk, her purse resting on her lap as she warmed her hands on her own cup of coffee. 

Okay, Maura, don’t seem too eager. She’ll tell you how her date went when she’s ready. 

The medical examiner gave herself a silent pep talk as she stared at the detective. Feeling a little uncomfortable with all the intense eye contact, Jane blinked a few times and sighed. “You know, You look just like Ma when you do that. I know what you wanna ask, so just ask.” 

“Ask what? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She did. 

“Okay, princess subtle.” 

At that, Maura couldn’t help the smirk that eased onto her face. And yep, there were those dimples again. She also noted how Jane referred to her as ‘ princess ‘ and how she didn’t entirely mind the term. Of course, she didn’t see herself as royalty by any means, but the context was … Actually quite nice. 

“You really wanna know?” Jane was finding amusement in this now. 

Maura gave a little frown and whine before she jutted her lip out, one of those classic Jaaaaaane ‘s slipping out. “Of course I want to know.” It was actually embarrassing how much she wanted to know, especially considering she didn’t think it went well. 

“Alright, alright.” Jane cleared her throat, leaning forward as if they were sharing some national secret and Maura followed suit, leaning forward as well. Jane could smell Maura’s perfume and Maura could smell the perfume that Jane had used that morning. Coconut. Interesting. 

“Okay, so the guy I went on a date with last night?” 

“Mhm?”

“I arrested him six years ago for armed robbery.”

Maura’s eyes widened significantly, imitating that of one of those squishy toys that you squeeze and the eyes pop out. One hand came up to cover her mouth, quieting the gasp that fell from her lips upon hearing the information. 

“Are you serious?!” She asked, but at a quiet level. Several detectives glanced over at them, but Jane gave them a quick smile and she finished speaking. 

“Yes. And you are not to tell anybody, especially Frankie and Korsak. They’ll never get off my back and Frankie, he’s… been really protective lately, ever since what happened with Pop. I’ll tell Ma myself. Maybe it’ll get her off my back about procreation for awhile.”

At that, Jane rolled her eyes, already able to hear the words in her head. 

“Of course, of course. But … Does that mean the date went badly?” Maura asked, still intrigued. 

“I mean, it was alright. Not, like, life-stopping, but …. I guess for an ex-con, who can complain, right?” Jane smiled, as if trying to make light of the situation. Maura simply looked concerned. Not only for Jane, but for herself… She was terrible at keeping secrets. She only hoped that she would be able to keep this one. She had to.

Eventually, the conversation about Jane’s date had ended when they got a call about a body being located. Still, Maura’s mind was on the date. An ex-con? Seriously? And the date hadn’t been terrible? The blonde was more worried than she had been in quite some time and honestly, she wished that she had the helpful advice of Korsak or Angela right about now. 

But she couldn’t tell either of them about this. She’d just have to figure it out by journaling or… Overthinking it endlessly, as she seemed to have a knack for doing lately. 

By the time Maura had entered her autopsy room that day, she was almost convinced that her brain was mush. The only thing stopping her from coming to that conclusion? Well, it just didn’t work that way. The brain was an incredibly flexible muscle and luckily, she knew the ins and outs of it quite well. 

She only wished that stopped her from wondering and thinking about Jane and this ex-con. It wasn’t that she was worried that she wouldn’t come home ( even though she was ), it was that she was worried that she would… But with him. What if Maura was forced to meet him, get along with him, see her best friend with someone that wasn’t… Her? The blonde wanted throw something for having thoughts like this. Why was she worrying so much about Jane when she was her best friend? When she wasn’t supposed to love her, was only supposed to want her happiness? This was selfish and Maura Isles was not a selfish person. 

At least, she never had been. 

“Hey, you got anything for me?”

Jane’s voice broke Maura out of her thoughts and she jumped a little, turning to her. She had only just put her gloves on. Thankfully, she would be there to watch her complete the Y incision. She knew that Jane would probably just want a cause of death, but her just being in close proximity calmed Maura enough to be able to focus on the task at hand. 

“Not yet. I haven’t done the incision, but it shouldn’t take too long.” Maura’s words came out quickly and the medical examiner looked to be a little nervous. This made alarm bells go off in Jane’s head. 

“Hey, you okay?” 

“What? Why do you ask?” 

Maura knew that if her best friend backed her into a corner ( metaphorically, of course ), that she would have no choice but to tell the truth. Hives were a pesky thing. 

“I don’t know, you just look a little… Nervous. And you jumped when I came in.” Something to know about Jane? She had studied body language at the academy. It definitely came in handy with Maura, whom she could read like a book, given the fact that she wore her emotions on her sleeve most of the time. It was an endearing quality and it made Jane’s life much easier.

“I jumped because you startled me.”

“You’re avoiding the question, Maura.”

Oh, god. Oh god, oh god, oh god. If Jane asked… She wouldn’t be able to lie! And then…

“I know what it is.”

“You do?” A thick swallow, eyes growing a bit terrified.

“Yeah. You’re worried you’ll slip up and tell Ma and Frankie about my date being an ex-con.”

Oh, god. Was this what a heart attack felt like? Quickly, Maura’s heart rate decreased, looking more relieved than ever. She didn’t say anything, just smiled and nodded, hoping that would appease Jane. It wasn’t like it was a lie! Just a half-truth. 

Wasn’t all of this secret pining over with? When Jane had been with Casey ( ‘ been with ‘ being a very loose term, considering the constant distance between them ), she thought it would be easy. Jane would let her guard down, let him in, they’d get married and that would be it. 

She would forever be the supportive best friend. However, when that fell through? Maura found herself back into those same patterns… Hoping and wishing for things that weren’t possible. Jane, first of all, wasn’t into women. And despite her obvious good looks ( by society’s standards ), she wasn’t Jane’s type. 

Besides, maybe Jane wasn’t Maura’s type, either. 

A grin plastered Jane’s face before she shook her head. Those dimples… That hair… The effortless beauty practically radiating off of Jane Rizzoli….

Jane was definitely her type.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. You’re a good avoider, too,” Jane confidently reassured Maura, giving her arm a little squeeze. The physical contact was nothing out-of-the-ordinary for the pair. They did it all the time. For comfort, just because… But lately, Maura was beginning to feel foolish for thinking about those subtle touches, thinking about the possibilities of what they could mean, deep below the surface.

This wasn’t Maura. She didn’t do wishful thinking or possibilities. Every conclusion she came to was based on research and facts. 

“Are you coming over for dinner tonight?” Maura found herself asking, Jane sighing tiredly at the question. The thought of a home-cooked meal sounded a lot better than a frozen ( and probably freezer-burnt ) dinner. 

“I probably shouldn’t, but I swear, if you make your lasagna, I just might move in permanently.” Maura knew it was just a comment, a joke, complete satire. And yet, it made her stomach flutter. The thought of waking up to Jane’s bedhead every morning and preparing the two of them coffee and breakfast? 

There she went again, with her possibilities. 

“That can be arranged.”

She hadn’t meant for it to sound so flirtatious, but she doubted Jane would pick up on it. Other than her usual smirk, nothing was different. Jane probably hadn’t even noticed. 

“Sounds good to me. I’m gonna bring some paperwork, too, just in case. You know me and work.” 

Maura nodded. She expected Jane to want to get to the bottom of this case. It was important. She admired her work ethic and would never stand in the way of how successful she was. 

“Okay. I’ll see you tonight. And I’ll text you when I have a cause of death. Oh, and will you switch on the CD player as you leave? Listening to music really puts me in the zone.” 

And quiets her mind from thoughts of the brunette. 

Jane playfully rolled her eyes, heading for the door.

“Sure thing, Maur. I’ll be back.”

And yes, that was said with an Arnold Shwarzenegger accent that made Maura smile stupidly. Jane had a habit of making her smile, even when things felt like they were falling apart. 

And now, it was time to find a cause of death…

Meanwhile, attempting to train her brain not to think of Jane so much. 

Easier said than done, though.


	3. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dinner. Jane brings a guest and not everyone is happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your kind reviews! I'm very excited for this chapter. It's a little longer, to make up for the wait! This chapter is a bit angsty, but I promise that Rizzles is inevitable! I just wanted to really delve into what it's like to have such strong feelings for someone and feel like you're going a little crazy, but wanting them to be happy at the same time. Let me know what you think about the new chapter, I love reading your feedback. :)

Later that night, Maura was staring at a glass cooking dish, the perfect one she’d use to make the lasagna that Jane was so looking forward to. 

Jane, Jane, Jane…. Jane Jane Jane. 

“ Ugh, “ Grumbled Maura, leaning over the counter, hands smoothing over her face. Her mind, constantly raging with thoughts of --- 

“Hi, Janey,” Angela said, walking in through the door from the guest house at the same time that Jane walked in through the front door. 

“Hey, Ma. Hey, Maur.” 

Maura immediately lifted her head. The only time she got any sort of relief from the thoughts about Jane was when the brunette was standing in front of her. 

“Jane.” 

The medical examiner smiled, the relief almost audible in her tone. Luckily, nobody noticed. 

“Maura, can I talk to you for a sec?” Immediately, she nodded, allowing the Italian woman to lead her over into the breezeway, eyeing her with confusion. “What is it?” Jane’s lips pressed into a tight line before she cleared her throat. 

“So, this is a really funny story and you’re going to laugh.” 

Only an expectant look from Maura was given in return. 

“You know the dude I’ve been seeing?” 

“You mean the man you had one date with, who your mother isn’t supposed to know about and have been casually avoiding all day to make sure I don’t, as you’d put it, “spill the beans”?” 

“Yep, that’s the one!” 

“Yes, I know him.”

“Perfect! Because he’s here.”

“He’s… Wait, he’s here?”

“Yes.”

“Here as in….?”

“As in… his car, outside, waiting for the signal that it’s okay to come in.”

Maura felt blindsided. They hadn’t discussed this and she’d thought she would have ample time to prepare for something like this. But, much to her dismay, it was happening, right now.

“I’m sorry, he… He showed up and I told him I was seeing a friend for dinner and then I explained that it wasn’t a friend like that, and then I told him that he could come and meet you and...Ma… And he actually accepted.”

Maura squinted, listening to every word, arms crossing over her chest. She wasn’t really mad, so much as she was annoyed that she didn’t have time to prepare, mentally or for the extra plate of food. 

But it was lasagna, right? It should be fine. 

Would she? Hopefully. 

“No, it’s completely fine. Please, tell him to come in. I’ll go get another chair.” 

“Really? Ugh, Maur, you’re the best.” 

A tight-lipped smile was given as the blonde moved back to the kitchen to prepare the lasagna and place it in the oven. 

Soon, the man made his way into the house, at Jane’s side. Maura immediately noticed that he was handsome. Dark hair, dark eyes, bit of a beard and a leather jacket. Exactly the type of man that Jane seemed to fit well with. He seemed like her type. 

Inhale, Exhale… Everything would be fine. 

“Maura...Ma… This is Jimmy.” Jane rested an arm against Jimmy’s arm and he glanced at her with a dimpled smile. Dimples. That detail stuck out to her, too. Brushing off her hands on her apron, Maura put on a polite and warm smile, moving over to the pair. She stuck out a hand, nodding. “It’s nice to meet you, Jimmy. I’ve heard nothing but good things.” Not entirely true, but she could lie for Jane’s sake. Hives be damned. 

“Maura, thank you so much for having me on short notice. You’re even more beautiful than your home.” Jimmy took Maura’s hand and shook it, resting his own over it. A good first impression. 

God, she couldn’t even dislike him. He seemed warm, attractive and from his body language, was obviously very down-to-earth, especially around Jane. 

“Why, thank you. Would you like some wine? Or a beer? I always keep them here for Jane.” She wasn’t sure why, but she felt the need to insert that part. Jane was here often. Briefly, she wondered if that would dwindle now. “Beer would be amazing, thank you.” 

“Janey? Who’s this?” In the background, carrying a chair, Angela stood in the kitchen and was eyeing the three of them, but mostly the man with the leather jacket. “Oh, let me help you with that.” Jimmy moved past the two women and over to Angela, helping her set the chair down and then stuck out his hand. “Jimmy. It’s very, very nice to meet you, Angela.” 

Maura and Jane glanced at each other.

“Jimmy, huh?” The tone in her voice said something like and Jane didn’t mention you once. “Nice to meet you, Jimmy.” She gently took his hand and he lifted it, kissing the back of it, which caused Angela to blush. He was certainly the charmer, Maura observed. 

Now, Jane was looking at the exchange between Jimmy and Angela. Maura was looking at Jane, a brief look of pain washing over her features before they washed away. 

The rest of the night went very well, considered the unexpected guest. Jimmy was funny, told stories of his childhood, Jane did the same… Maura had heard these stories a million times, but they never got old. She could listen to Jane talk for hours. The medical examiner had been tuning in and out, though, both listening and watching to the way Jane pushed her messy locks back and took sips of her beer. 

“And then Maura, over here, remembered that it was actually coffee that she’d ordered!” 

The story about the time she’d ordered a package to her office --- coffee --- and the whole building had to be evacuated. 

A slight blush as Maura took a sip of her wine, shaking her head. 

“I’m pretty sure that if it hadn’t been for Jane’s brother, I would’ve dropped the box in thirty minutes. He stood there with me for what felt like ages.” 

Jane smiled, watching Maura for a moment. 

Jimmy listened to the stories being told and then he smiled, a hand moving to rest on Jane’s leg. Jane didn’t seem bothered by it, didn’t even look like she’d registered it was there. Maura emptied her wine glass. 

“Man, is that the time? It’s getting really late. I should probably head home, I’ve got work in the morning.” Jimmy spoke to the entire room, an apologetic look on his face. Then, Jane rested her hand over Jimmy’s and she nodded. “Alright, let me walk you out?” “ ‘Course.”

“And Maura, Angela, it was very nice meeting you. Your lasagna was delicious.” Maura gave him a smile. “Thank you, Jimmy. Have a safe drive home.”

And Jane did as she said she would, walking him to the door. And before he could leave, the kiss on her cheek didn’t go unnoticed. She knew he was being polite, but the annoyance that had been simmering all night was beginning to bubble into anger and oh, how she wished she didn’t feel that. Jane was clearly happy. Who was she to stand in the way of that?

After all, Jimmy was a good person.

Didn’t stop Maura from having gone through an entire bottle of wine between herself and Angela. She’d meant to have one, maybe two glasses. But, the more she drank, the more it subdued the ache in her chest when she saw Jane and Jimmy together. 

Jane and Jimmy. Even their names together sounded like they fit. 

God, maybe she wasn’t angry, maybe she was just sad.

“So, that went good, huh?” Jane asked, moving over to Maura, a hopeful look on her face. “Did you like him?”

What could Maura say? Why wouldn’t she say anything but…

“I do. He seems nice. And he has very good manners.”

Jane just couldn’t put her finger on the reason why Maura looked like she was forcing those words out of her mouth. Maybe she was just tired. 

“I think he and Ma really got along. I think I’m gonna wait to tell her that he’s, like, you know.. A convict.” 

“I think that’s wise.”

A few moments of silence passed, Maura tracing her finger around the bottom of her wine glass. 

“Hey, you okay? You seem a little distracted. You’ve kinda had this look on your face all night.”

“What do you mean? What look?”

“Like someone gave your puppy away.”

“Well, that’s ridiculous, I don’t even have a puppy.”

“Maura, it’s… That’s not the point.”

Chuckling, she eyed her best friend and her expression grew a bit more concerned and serious. Why was Maura avoiding the question.

“And you’re doing that avoid-y thing.”

“I’m just tired.”

“If you say so.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Maura’s brows creased, looking at her and waiting for a response. 

“It just means… I don’t think you’re being entirely honest.” 

“I’m sorry if my response doesn’t satisfy you, Jane.”

Whoa.

“Jeez…. “ 

Maura instantly felt bad. But why should she? Jane hadn’t felt bad bombarding her with the presence of a man she barely knew ; a convicted felon, at that. 

“Look, if you didn’t want him here, you could’a just told me. I would’ve told Jimmy it wasn’t a good time.”

“Really? Because you didn’t give me that option.”

“So, it was about him.”

Silence. Maura simply looked at her before letting out a loud sigh. 

“Wasn’t it you saying I needed to get back out there? Start dating again? I finally meet a nice guy who’s honest with me about his past and all you can do is judge him.”

“Judge him? I’m not doing anything of the sort! Don’t put words in my mouth, Jane.”

“I kinda have to, you’re not saying much.”

“Because I don’t know what to say to you!”

Jane’s jaw clenched, eyeing her before she grabbed her keys.

“You know what? I’m tired, too. Tell Ma I said goodnight. Thanks for dinner.”

“Jane, wait ---”

“No, no. It’s fine. I’ll just see you tomorrow. Hopefully after you’ve had your poop tea or whatever the hell it is.”

A hurt expression washed over her features and she felt instantly like she’d been kicked in the chest. What had just happened? The night had been going so well and she’d ruined it… All because she’d allowed her feelings to lead and not her head.

“Where’d Jane go?”

Instantly, Maura felt like crying. Instead, she reached for the empty lasagna pan and placed it in the sink, gripping the side of the sink until her knuckles turned white. 

The usually-composed Chief Medical Examiner crumbled, right there, in front of her sink, body overcome with sobs. 

What was happening to her? Was she going crazy? How were the chemicals in her body so imbalanced over the war waging in her mind about Jane? 

Yeah, she definitely wasn’t angry. Just upset.

Angela rushed forward, holding onto Maura and soothingly rubbing her back. 

“Maura, sweetie, breathe. What happened with Jane?”

How did she always know? Mother’s intuition? Or was she just obvious? 

“We … We had a fight. About Jimmy.”

“Jimmy, why? Didn’t you like him?”

“I did, I did, it’s just…” 

Sniffling, she shook her head.

“It was pretty unexpected, huh? Dropped a bomb on us a bit.”

Maura nodded, finally turning towards the Rizzoli matriarch. 

“It’s okay, Maura. I know. “

A pause. The crying stopped for a moment while she looked at Angela. 

“Know?”

“I know how you feel about her.”

Maura’s lips parted, feeling like she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“How …. Do you know?” Angela simply laughed softly, hand still rubbing Maura’s back before she pulled back just a bit so they could regard one another. “I’m a mom, Maura. And I know a thing or two when it comes to loving people. You two act like a married couple, I’m surprised one of you hasn’t made a move yet.” 

She was both shocked and confused. Angela knew? Was she not as conspicuous as she’d thought? 

“I gotta tell you, Maura, you better hurry up, because she seems a little smitten with this guy. But I think she feels the same way. I think she just thinks that maybe… You don’t feel that way?”

“You think so?”

“I do.”

Angela took Maura’s hands, looking at her, giving her a reassuring smile.

“It’ll be okay, sweetheart. This is all gonna work itself out. You and Janey will be okay by tomorrow. This isn’t even the worst fight you two have had. Didn’t hear any yelling, so that must’ve been a good thing.”

Maura finally cracked a little smile. The Rizzoli women were well-versed in bringing that out in her. Sniffling, she moved to hug the older woman and let out a breath. She’d warmed up to the idea of hugs when upset, thanks to the Rizzolis.

“Thank you, Angela.”

“It’s what family is for.”

A little squeeze given to Maura as she pulled away.

“Now, why don’t you go lie down and I’ll finish this pan? It’s the least I can do after that delicious dinner you cooked.”

For once, Maura wasn’t going to argue. She simply nodded and rubbed the woman’s shoulder in thanks, heading for her bedroom.

The minute Maura’s head hit the pillow, she was out like a light. Clothes and all.


End file.
